


Untitled JxS

by ununoriginal



Category: LUNA SEA
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-03-29
Updated: 1999-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-14 09:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/835414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ununoriginal/pseuds/ununoriginal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The shattering of glassware helped block out the sound of J's voice saying goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He watched silently as the lean figure pushed himself off the bed and began gathering their clothes off the floor.  Gazing at his lover, he tried to think of something to say – to stave off his inevitable departure, but inspiration eluded him.

“J—”  His shirt hit him in the face unexpectedly.

“I’m taking a shower.”

By the time he dragged the offending item of clothing off his head, the bathroom door had clicked shut.  Giving out an explosive sigh, he flopped back against the bed, and closed his eyes.  He was so tired, but all too aware that sleep would once again be far out of reach.

He thought back to the previous few minutes when his world seemed to have consisted of nothing but pure pleasure and ecstasy.  A shiver of desire caressed his spine, and he shifted restlessly beneath the sheets.  If he tried hard enough, he could almost feel J’s strong muscles underneath his fingertips as they lay naked in each other’s arms…  
   
The sound of the bathroom door opening jerked him out of his fantasy and dumped him back into reality.  J stepped out, fully dressed, towelling his hair dry.  He shot a glance in his direction.

“You should get yourself cleaned up too,” J said casually, as if they were talking about the weather.

“Leaving already?”  There was something in his voice that made J stiffen.  “J?”

Reluctantly, J met his gaze and he could see the other man flinch slightly as J recognised all that he could not say – was too proud to say.

Then J shook his head, as if trying to clear his mind, and ran the towel over his hair one last time before tossing it aside.  When he raised his head, the apology was clear in his expression, as was his determination.  “Yes, I’ve got to go.”

The words hung awkwardly in the tension-thick air.

He turned away as J started towards the door.  For a fleeting instant, his heart lifted when he heard the footsteps pause.

“Ja, Sugi.”

He looked back just in time to see the blond head disappear as the door closed.

For a few moments, he sat unmoving, the sound of the door shutting replaying in his mind, driving home to him the finality of the situation.

With a scream of frustration, he seized a pillow off the bed and flung it against the door.  It ended its journey with a slight 'thud'.  Unsatisfied, Sugi swept everything off the bedside table.  The shattering of the glassware helped block out J's voice saying goodbye.

***

“So that was the last time…”

It wasn’t a question, but Sugi replied anyway.  “Yes, after that, we were never alone…  He was deliberately avoiding me, or, to be more exact, avoiding any chances of us being together other than for work.”  His mouth curled slightly in a bitter smirk.

“Well…”  His companion set down the tea she was drinking and glanced out at the crowds of people bustling to and fro beyond the glass windows of the café.  After sufficient time had passed for Sugi to collect himself, she cleared her throat delicately and continued.  “It seems like there’s plenty between the two of you that has been left unresolved.”  She frowned disapprovingly at Sugi’s ‘do you think I’m an idiot?’ look.  “I was going to elaborate – did you want to resolve this?  What about him?”

“What do you mean?” Sugi asked, suddenly very interested in stirring his coffee.

“You said J avoided you, but at the time, did you try to seek him out and talk to him?”  Sugi didn’t answer.  “I guessed as much.  Sugi,” she said with a little sigh.  “Your pride might just be your undoing…”  She trailed off, taking another sip from her cup.

“Aren’t you going to give me any advice, Lou?”

Lou smiled and shook her head.  “Come on, Sugi.  We both know that you only want to talk to someone who would listen and not judge.  Besides, I do know you well enough to realise that any advice given to you won’t be followed unless it coincides with your own decisions.”

Sugi grinned in return, the first light-hearted expression to adorn his face since they had touched upon his final ill-fated encounter with J.  “Still… it’s good to be able to bring this out into the open.  I think it was poisoning me, I was beginning to lose touch with my music.  But after I said something… things were better.”

“Thank god!  I knew Princess Di alone couldn’t keep you from your work,” Lou exclaimed.  Sugi’s chuckle turned into full-fledged laughter at her deadpan expression.  “Anyway,” she added.  “I think it’s time to go.  Your plane will be leaving soon.”

They stood and left the café, joining the stream of travellers that swirled within Heathrow Airport everyday.  “I guess you’ll be seeing him when you get back to Japan, won’t you, Sugi?” Lou inquired.

“Probably.  His album is also due for release soon,” Sugi said, not wanting to speak further.  The subject of J was still a bit too raw. 

They walked on in silence, before pausing a distance from the departure gates, where they could see the group of people Sugi had befriended during his stay in London waiting to say their farewells.  “Well, this is goodbye, then,” Lou sighed, smiling wistfully.  “It’s been wonderful working with you, all the more so because you have become a dear friend.”  She drew closer and hugged him hard.  “I’ll miss you, Sugi.”

Sugi returned the embrace with equal fervour.  “Me, too.  Coming to London would have been worth it if only for meeting you.  Did I ever thank you for drawing me out, and making me talk?”    
  
He felt the movement of her head shaking against his shoulder.  “I never made you do anything.  You chose to speak… but I know you didn’t tell me everything.  But nevertheless, I wish you all the best.  I hope you’ll be happy, Sugi.”

“I hope so, too,” Sugi whispered back.  They parted, and then made their way to the others.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was nothing... nothing at all.

J slouched down further in his seat, trying to get more comfortable.  From all appearances, he seemed to be a weary traveller – minus the baggage – attempting to catch some shuteye while waiting for his flight.  Just like any other ordinary guy.  It was a relief, for once, to be able to sit in a public place, like an airport, and not get recognised.  Not that he disliked his slaves, who always got so excited at even a glimpse of him – far from it, but it was at times like these that it struck him how much he craved for his lost anonymity.

Glancing up impatiently at the TV screen showing the arrival times, he re-confirmed for the seventh time that the British Airways flight from London to L.A. would be delayed.  He glared at the words, fuming and railing silently at the incompetent fools running the airport. 

His anger faded abruptly when he thought of the person he was waiting for, replaced by a nervous twisting deep within his gut.  Slowly releasing his breath, he consciously forced his tense muscles to relax.

_Can I do it?_ he wondered.  _Do I have enough courage to tell him how I really feel?  To change things?…  What if--_   He quickly cut off his thoughts before they wandered into the realm of paranoid.  He willed his mind to less dangerous territory and was soon engrossed in the details of the latest song he was recording.

When the pleasant female voice finally announced the arrival of the long-awaited flight and apologised for any inconveniences caused, he was too busy going over the intricacies of the music to hear it.  As people poured out from the arrival gate, he was worrying over the arrangement of the different instruments.

It was only after the crowds had thinned to a trickle, the passengers and their loved ones all dispersed, that J registered the presence of the person sitting patiently next to him.

“Konnichiwa, J.  Are you done now?”  He smiled sweetly at J.

“Oh, fuck!”  J sat up, removing his sunglasses.  “Shit, I’m sorry.  I was thinking about my latest song.  I should have been… well, I _was_ waiting for you and then those fucking idiots said that your flight was delayed--”

“It’s ok,” his friend reassured him.  “With all the effort you’re putting in, your album’s going to be a hit.”

J threw his arm around Ino’s shoulder as they headed out of the airport.  “Man, it’s great to see you again.”

***

“What have you been doing so far?” J asked as they were driving down the highway into the city.

“Well, I wasn’t planning to do any major projects at first, but then I got persuaded into making an album…  but I’m only singing in one song,” Ino amended hastily at J’s incredulous look.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Ino,” J clarified, grinning.  “It’s just that you’ve always been so against singing solo that I was surprised you would want to do that.”

“I feel for the song, I guess… so I’ve been spending some time in London getting to know the people before we get down to recording, which reminds me, J, didn’t Sugi say he was going to be in London too?” Ino remarked innocently.

J’s grip on the steering wheel tightened at the sudden reminder of the one man he had been working on pushing out of his mind for the past months.  “I… I dunno, he never said anything,” he mumbled, lying through his teeth, all the while knowing full well that Sugi was recording less than a mile from Ino’s studio.

“Really?” Ino said, a note of suspicion in his voice.  “But I would have thought… considering…”  He trailed off and turned back to the scenery whizzing by, dropping his line of questioning when he saw how strained J’s expression was getting.

“Considering what, Ino?”

“No, J.  It was nothing.  Nothing at all.”

***

“How much longer do you have to take before you finish recording?” Ino inquired as J led him towards the apartment he had rented for his stay in L.A.

“Um… I have a couple more songs, then I’m ready to pack up and head home,” J replied, unlocking the door and stepping aside for Ino to enter.  “Go on in, your room’s the spare, it’s next to the--”

He was interrupted by Ino’s laughter.  “I can see which room is yours based on the amount of junk it has in it, J,” he said, still chuckling.

The sound of it hit J hard, tugging at his heart.  How he had missed hearing that beautiful voice…  He realised this was the longest separation between him and Ino ever since they formed “Lunacy” all those years ago.  And if he had his way, this would be the last time they were ever apart.

_Stay calm, J,_ he cautioned himself, leaning against the door to support suddenly weak legs.  _You can break down later... after you tell him… what he really is to you…_

“Say, J, do you mind if I use the phone?” Ino asked, emerging from the bedroom where he had dumped his bags.  
  
“Sure, go ahead,” J replied, marvelling that his voice could still remain so steady.

“I’ve got to warn you first, it’s long distance,” Ino said as he as he sat down on the couch next to the phone.  “I promised I would call her the moment I got here,” Ino explained at J’s questioning look.  “I hate it if she’s worried about me.”

For an instant there, J was sure he heard the ‘crack’ as the world split apart.  “Huh?” he managed.

“Oh, I guess you wouldn’t know.  We got back together after you left.  We decided to give it another shot, and by the way things have been going, I’m so happy we didn’t just give up… oh, hey, it’s me, Ino… yeah, I got here safely…” 

The dazzling smile that materialised on Ino’s face as he spoke softly to his girlfriend was the last thing J saw before he closed his eyes.  But he couldn’t do anything to stifle the gentle, loving words that Ino was speaking into the receiver.

Words that would never be spoken to him.

He walked slowly past the living room towards the balcony, feeling unbelievably old, burdened by the rankling knowledge that he had lost, before he had ever started.  He stood there, hands with a death-hold on the railing, staring out at the view, letting the sounds of the traffic from below and the light from the setting sun above engulf him.

Minutes went by, or it could have been hours, he didn’t know, and then he heard Ino’s worried voice calling him.  “J, are you alright?”  He turned around to meet Ino’s concerned gaze.

“…yes… I… I was thinking about my next song,” he forced out in a normal a tone as possible.

Ino looked unconvinced, but thankfully let it pass, not pressing him further.  Instead, he shrugged and went into his room.  “Let me take a bath first, then you can tell me what we’re gonna do while I’m here, ’k?”

He was halfway to the bathroom when he suddenly turned towards J.  “J, did you want to tell me something?” he asked, sounding slightly puzzled at his own strange question.

“No, Ino.  It was nothing… nothing at all.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He remembered thinking of giving up, yet not wanting to let go.

Sugi pressed the elevator button for the ground floor, and leaned back against the cool metal walls as the container swiftly slid down to its destination.  Now alone, he allowed himself a moment of total relaxation, releasing all his tensions in a long, slow breath.  The past few weeks had been hectic, to say the least, what with TV shows, photo shoots, and not to mention, his own radio programme, the latest segment of which he had just finished recording.

But still, it had been blessedly calm and quiet, deep within.  The packed schedule dumped on him tended to leave him much too exhausted to think about other matters although he knew he couldn't leave it like that.  J was returning soon, and then...

_Do you want to resolve things?..._   Lou's voice surfaced in the fore of his mind.  
  
But he felt reluctant to approach the issue head-on, preferring to skirt delicately around it, the procrastinator in him displaying its full talents as he came up with excuse after excuse to give himself more time, to think, to decide what to do...

The chime indicating the elevator had stopped jerked him out of his reverie, and automatically, his well-worn shield slipped over him, presenting the aloof exterior to the world.  He had become so used to it that he couldn't remember when he had begun armouring himself.  You can look arrogant, or be nice; laugh and joke, but never let your guard down, and keep everyone at least fifty metres away from your heart.  Of course, it wasn't a foolproof protection, and there had been individuals who had slipped through the chinks, but he had managed to stop them before they got too close.  Yet, it seemed all his safeguards weren't working at all this time round...

The doors opened and he prepared to step out.

"Sugi?!" The voice was familiar, and sounded pleasantly surprised.

"Hey, Ryu, how are you doing, man?" Sugi replied, smiling in return.

Looking at Ryu now, he remembered the wild, half-exotic, half-elegant image he had before, and felt slightly incredulous that it used to belong to this normal, squeaky-clean, pop idol standing in front of him.

"Do you have anything on later?" Ryu asked.

"Thank gods, no!" For once, he had managed to clear his schedule much earlier, leaving him with more free time than a few minutes to the next day.

“Ok, then.  I'm just going up to make this recording - I'm a guest on the show -- which should only take about half an hour.  Then we can go out and have a drink or something.  We barely have a chance to talk since you came back." As he spoke, Ryu drew Sugi back into the elevator, the doors closing behind them.

"Sure, since you ‘asked’ so nicely," Sugi sighed, letting himself be moved along by Ryu's superior will as the lift was pulled up to the higher floors.  
   
***

“Thanks.”  Ryu nodded and flashed a small smile at the waitress who set down their drinks, and waited until the awe-struck young woman was well out of hearing range before he began to talk again.  “Okay, now we can start on the _real_ stuff I wanted to ask you about,” he said, stirring his drink.  “I didn’t want to be interrupted halfway.”

Sugi’s attention was still on the girl who had just served them.  although she had behaved very ‘professionally’ in front of them, she had spoilt the effect entirely by peeking and glancing over her shoulder all the way back to the counter.  Now, she was rooted there, staring dreamily at them (read: kawamura ryuichi-kun :p), a goofy smile on her face.  “Ryu, you’ve got to stop charming the girls like that,” he remarked, amused.  “I heard of your incredible ‘powers’ even when I was a continent away.”

Ryu just gave a resigned shrug.  “Hey, I have this pop image to maintain,” he retorted.  “I can’t just ignore them.  I’ve got to give people what they want.  Anyway…”  Ryu narrowed his eyes and gave Sugi a mock glare.  “Don’t try to change the topic.”

“Who, me?” Sugi asked innocently.

“Yes!  Sugi…”  His voice took on a faint note of urgency and reluctantly, Sugi raised his eyes to meet Ryu’s.

“What?”

“Um…” Ryu said, tentative now that he had got Sugi’s attention.  “How are things between you and J?”

There was a long silence.

Finally, Sugi sat back, visibly trying to relax.  “Oh, same old same old.”  He tried to make it sound off-hand, but ironically, the tone just seemed to scream out how false the enforced casualness was.

Ryu was quick to pick it up.  “Which means you two are still at square one: you’re here moping over him silently, and he’s over there pining for Ino silently.”  He shook his head despairingly.  “Really, you two are quite a masochistic pair.”  Reaching out, he grasped Sugi’s hand.  “Come on, Sugi,” he urged.  “How much longer are you going to carry on like this?”

Sugi tugged his hand away a little roughly.  “You should be the last person to be lecturing me on how to deal with such affairs,” he said rather coolly.

“It’s not like you and you know it!” Ryu continued forcefully, ignoring Sugi’s interruption.  Yet, looking at Sugi’s closed expression, he realised that Sugi’s pride prevented him from sharing his private agony with Ryu or anyone else.  Sighing, he tried again.  “Sugi…” he said in a softer tone.  “You know why I’m so adamant you patch things up with J?”

Sugi gave no response.

Forging onwards, Ryu carried on, his voice gaining a philosophical quality to it as the words flowed.  “I believe that there is such a thing in this world as true love, and that there is this one person you’re meant to be with.  But of course, you have to search for him or her.  And sometimes, you meet somebody, and you think, maybe she’s the one, but then… it turns out that you’re wrong.”  He sighed wistfully.  “You can’t give up though…  Because if you do, you’re accepting that you can’t find your happiness, that you don’t deserve or need it.  So you just move on, and keep on trying.”

He stopped, gazing intently at Sugi, and Sugi wanted to look away from the envy and sadness he glimpsed in Ryu’s eyes.  “It’s frustrating to see you and J circling around each other when it’s so evident that you two could have something.”

Sugi was stunned, slightly reeling from Ryu’s confession.  They had been friends with each other for years, but Ryu still rarely let anyone truly see his inner self, the one that came through in his voice whenever he sang.  That he had revealed this secret longing told of the depth of his concern.  “We could be together, you think?” Sugi mused.

“Of course,” Ryu said simply.

He leaned back and stretched, then glanced at his watch.  “Oh, no!”  He bolted upright.  “I almost forgot I have an interview later.  My manager’s gonna kill me!  Gomen, Sugi, I’d love to stay longer, but…”

When their eyes met again, Sugi could no longer see the Ryu that had been talking to him.  The shutters had come down, and KR was firmly in place.  “It’s fine, Ryu.  See you.”

“Ja, Sugi.”  And then he was gone.

His farewell triggered off a locked memory and suddenly, Sugi heard J’s deeper voice repeating the same words.  The emotions he had felt that night flooded over him again.  He remembered the anguish and humiliation, the bitterness and hurt.

He remembered thinking of giving up, yet not wanting to let go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can't say why I never told you.

J entered the apartment, weaving a little as he made his way to the living room.  His head still spun from all the beers he'd had at the noisy bar, and he'd left, slightly drunk, before he could develop a splitting headache.  It was pathetic, he admitted to himself, that he could get knocked out after only five rounds, but then, he'd stayed away from alcohol since he'd come to L.A.  Only tonight, his control had finally snapped, after having been strained for so long.

He had headed straight for the pub after recording, together with a rather surprised Franz.  But after a couple of drinks, Franz could tell that J wasn't there to socialise, so he had made no effort to get J to stay when the latter had finally stumbled from the dark, claustrophobic atmosphere.  The fresh air outside (as fresh as it could get in downtown L.A.) cleared his head but little.  Thoughts of Sugi and thoughts of Ino wove round and round in his head until their images blurred and one seemed to become the other.

The apartment was dark and it vaguely occurred to him that it had to be late since Ino was already asleep.  He staggered and fell onto the couch, deciding that the journey to his room required too much energy.  Closing his eyes, he willed the world to stop spinning around and slowly drifted into slumber.

As he slept, a dream figure appeared to hover over him, then it slowly sank down onto the edge of the couch close to him.  A whisper of a touch brushed over his forehead, sweeping away hair that had fallen over his eyes.  The gentle fingers moved over his eyelids, and he had no choice but to shut his eyes again.

He tried to reconstruct the image of the person in his mind, but the figure that he came up with turned out to be the ambiguous Sugi-Ino individual that seemed to have taken up temporary residence in his head for the night.

Another hand joined the first and they cupped his cheeks, smoothing his hair back to reveal his face more fully.  When they finally ran across his lips, they had become bolder, the caress stronger and bordering on the seductive. 

_Sugi..._

The name surfaced through the haze clouding J's mind.  It had to be Sugi -- Ino would never touch him like that.  But it didn't make sense...  How did Sugi get here?

But the question proved secondary as his hand moved of its own volition to clasp one of the hands stroking his face and bring it to his mouth again.  The hand abruptly jerked, trying to free itself, but J merely tightened his hold, opening his mouth to gently bite down on the skin under which its owner's pulse hammered.

Another hand closed around his own fingers, trying to pry them off the wrist they were wrapped around.  All it accomplished was to make him clutch the slender wrist even tighter, and the thought that he would leave marks on the delicate hand absently floated across his numbed brain.

Then his world began to heave, and he gradually realised he was being shaken.  Stubbornly refusing to wake up, he turned and burrowed against Sugi's chest, which only caused Sugi to shove him all the more.

Why was Sugi being so reticent? 

He stretched an arm around Sugi's waist to pull him close in the hopes of encouraging him -- which was when he discovered something was wrong. 

This waist was too thin, the frame felt too slender and fragile, for it to be Sugi's.  He smelled different as well.  Sugi's scent was musky, a little spicy, with a dash of the exotic, and totally seductive.  But this scent was cleaner, fresher, softer -- yet, to him, infinitely more provocative.

And then came the damning words.  “J!  Let go of me… it’s Ino.  J, I’m not Sugi!”

J’s eyes snapped open, shocked instantaneously out of the drunken daze and he recoiled roughly, the momentum causing Ino to slide off the couch onto the floor.

“Fuck, I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, reaching out to help Ino up again.  “I was drunk, and I wasn’t really thinking.  I thought you were…”  He trailed off suddenly, blood rushing to his cheeks, and he could hear his own quickened breathing.

“Sugi.”  The word tensed him up in a split second.  “You thought I was Sugi.  Too bad I wasn’t, huh?” Ino said rather apologetically.

“You… you…” J stammered.

“What?  I don’t sound too surprised?” Ino remarked, raising an eyebrow.  “Just because you never saw fit to mention your relationship with Sugi doesn’t mean I can’t use my own eyes.”  J winced, detecting the trace of acid in Ino’s tone.

Grimacing a little, Ino continued.  “But I don’t understand why you never told me about it.  Aren’t we supposed to be the best of friends?  I would have thought if something so momentous occurred, you could have at least dropped a hint.”  He gazed at J reproachfully.

J dropped his head wearily against the back of the couch, wishing himself back in the darkness where warm colours swam, nourishing a seedling of hope – insane hope that if Ino knew, he would actually object, demand him to break up with Sugi.  But even as that longing flashed through his mind, he knew the seedling had wilted and shrivelled up, bleached white by the harsh glare of reality.

“I…”  Finally he sighed, and said quietly, “I can’t say why I never told you, Ino.  Forgive me…”

The rest of the night passed in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your own life to live.

It feels just like old times.  The early morning sun that would slowly creep through the window and the beams, strangely more glaring than those at noon, would wake me up, squinting.  Then I'd crawl out of the covers and stumble out of the bedroom to the living room, where he'd be sprawled out on the couch, dead to the world, be it from liquor or exhaustion.

But no matter how conked out he is, for some reason I can never fathom, he would always stir as I pass him on my way to the kitchen.  And by the time I emerge with coffee for both him and me, he'd already be sitting up, cursing a blue streak at the effort it took.

I set the mug down for him, and he seizes it like a lifeline.  Only after gulping down at least half its contents, does he truly wake, looking at me with a less zombie-like gaze.

"Ohayo, Ino."  His voice is hoarse from sleep.

"Ohayo, J," I reply softly, so as not to aggravate the headache I know he has from his hangover.

God, it really does feel like old times…

Before Luna Sea and Tokyo.  Before I met her.

Before Sugi…

A slight irrational feeling of abandonment and betrayal still runs through me whenever I think of the two of them together.  Of course, it also hurts that he had not said a thing, automatically assuming I wouldn't notice.  Hell, how dense does he think I am?  Just because I used to be a little 'blur' and got left behind a couple of times after the lives...

I glance up at him again, and I can see a speculative look enter his eyes.  Suddenly I just know what he's going to ask and I open my mouth to say something -- anything -- to forestall the inevitable question.

Too late.  "Ino, why did you do that last night?"  True confusion in his tone, plus... something else -- something I would much rather not think about.

I squirm a little in my seat.  Now it's my turn to stutter and stammer, caught out, unable to give a proper answer that won't bring about further complications.  My cheeks feel hot -- I'm so definitely blushing.  He can see it, and he will know I'm hiding something.  His gaze has turned predatory already.

Fine, if he really wants to know, then I'll tell him!  Might as well get everything out into the open like we used to.  "Condemn me if you have to," he would say after another of his countless scrapes back in high school.  "But know the whole story first."

I don't think I ever once condemned him.

I take a deep breath, butterflies suddenly fluttering within my gut.  It's so hard to bring this out into the scrutinising light after I've wrapped and weighed it down with layer upon layer of denial.

But my courage fails me still and I decide to skirt around the topic of my emotions until I miraculously become braver.  “Sugi called yesterday…”  A quick glance is enough to tell me that he’s not falling for this.  “…That’s why I stayed up last night.”

Damnit, my words aren’t making sense!

I need to get further away where his presence won’t disconcert me.  Standing, I cross over to the balcony and turn around, leaning against the railing, hands clutching the cold metal tightly.

“Sugi called right after you left and he wanted to know your contact number at the studio… but I told him I didn’t know.”  I avoid looking at him, certain that the incredulity in his face would be too much to bear.  “I don’t know what came over me.  Suddenly, I just didn’t feel like letting him know anything about you at all.  And when I asked him why he wanted to get you, he said it was nothing and hung up.”    
  
My mind goes back to the last bit of my telephone conversation with Sugi – if it could have been called one, considering how curt I was with him.  With a sinking heart, I acknowledge painfully to myself that it had not been ‘nothing’, but probably my abnormally sharp manner that had put him off.  
  
I raise my head, steeling myself to gaze at him, but his expression is unreadable.  Yet, I’ve come this far – I have to finish what I started.

So I forge on, eyes fixed on a point somewhere beyond his head.  “Then I realised how stupid and selfish I was acting, and I tried to call you but they said you’d already left the studio.  I was waiting for you to get home and by that time, I was ready to sleep and you came in drunk…”

The rush of nostalgia that had overwhelmed and propelled me towards the couch last night surfaces within me again.  Gripping the railing convulsively, I just let the words flow out, not really thinking to check whatever I say.  “It just feels so… weird, J.  I mean, all along I was your closest friend – the one who had the special connection with you.  And then one day, I find out – and not through you – that you and Sugi had become lovers.  God, I was _so_ fucking pissed off that you didn’t tell me yourself…”  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his head turn to me in surprise.  Despite having known him for more than a decade, it’s still not in my nature to swear unless I get extremely agitated.  “I kept concentrating on the anger for a long time, because I just didn’t want to admit to myself that I was resentful of Sugi because of his new, unique place in your life.” 

I fold my arms, shivering slightly as a stiff breeze blows up.  “I’m sorry, J… I never realised until then how much I take you for granted.  For some idiotic reason, I always assume that you’ll be _there_.  It didn’t occur to me that one day you’ll find love of your own and…”  I sigh as I close my eyes, my head tilted back to let the wind ruffle through my hair and gather it away from my face.  “I’m really too selfish… I want both her and you in my life.  But…”  I push away from the railing a little more forcefully than I need to.  “You have your own life to live, and… I’m truly happy for you, J.”

But even as I say this, the past lingers.  He remains so still, there half in the shadows, that when I look upon him, I see a black-haired boy in his late teens, not quite the man yet, but the potential is there, ready to spring forth at the right stimulus.  And I feel…

I haven’t felt this for such a long time.

Then he shifts, and a shaft of light strikes his dyed-blond hair, making it golden.  The shimmer jolts me back to the here and now.  I sense the yearning fade away, like the dying embers after their last futile bid for brilliance.  It belongs to the past, and I let it go to where the other memories are. 

I re-enter the living room and as I walk past him, his hand reaches out and grabs me so I tumble into his embrace.  He doesn’t do anything, just holds me so tightly, his head buried in my neck.  But I can hear his silent plea – he does understand all I’ve tried to tell him, he always has.

“Gomen nasai, J,” I whisper gently.  “You are so precious to me, but… she… she is my life.”

The sudden wet warmth against my neck only makes me hug him closer, for there is nothing else I can do.

“Maybe… if I had never met her… just maybe.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not to be.

He slowly, painfully pried one eyelid open.  No harmful rays of brilliant light attempted to push past his lashes to fry his retinas and mash up his brain further.  Cautiously, he opened the other eye and turned his head by minuscule degrees to get a grip on where he was.

The place was familiar, but he hadn’t been here for quite some time already.  Now why the hell had he ended up here?

Suddenly the sound of footsteps entered his ears, followed by the ominous rustling of the curtain drapes.  J decided he had a very bad feeling about this.

“Ah, fuck, no!  Franz!…”

The morning sun hit him like a speeding bullet train, and his eyes snapped shut as he desperately groped for something to block the light.  But the damage had been done – the headache that had been buzzing at the edges of his consciousness was now throbbing like the full-fledged killer it was meant to be.

“Hey, you okay, man?”  A hand poked him in the ribs.

Eyes still determinedly closed, he mumbled irritably, “What do you think?”

“Well, J, my friend,” Franz replied in an obscenely cheerful tone, not affected in the slightest by his surliness.  “If you didn’t want this to happen, then you shouldn’t have drank so much last night.  Which really defeats the purpose of your trying to quit drinking, by the way.”

“Couldn’t you have stopped me?”  J made another valiant effort at getting out of bed.

“You walked back here with me, didn’t you?”  Franz shrugged.  “At least no one had to lug you anywhere.”

J sat up, one hand gingerly massaging his temples, swearing a blue streak as he did.

“Okay!  Now that you’re up,” Franz gave J a jarring slap on the back, which earned him the evil eye from J, “I’ll be going.”

“Huh?”  
   
“I have another recording session today, which is probably the only reason why the two of us didn’t end up in an alley somewhere,” Franz answered wryly.

J stumbled to the bathroom, gritting his teeth as knifes stabbed at his head.  Shit, why had he drunk so much?

Gradually, images filtered through the haze of pain and prodded his memory.  Ino’s hands, gliding over his skin…  Ino’s face, simultaneously filled with regret and a contented resignation…

_Ah… so that’s why_ , he thought wearily.

_…Forget it, J, it’s all over now…_

Damnit!  He’d been such a fool, if only he’d realised earlier…  But it was not to be.

The cold water revived him and he stepped into Franz’s living room with considerably more alertness.  Franz was already at the door, ready to go.

“Hey, man, lock up before you go, okay?” Franz tossed over his shoulder as he pulled on his boots.

“Yeah, sure…”

“And, uh… J?”

“What?”

“What’s Sugizo to you?”

“…Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”  Franz’s expression showed that he was quite serious.  “What is your relationship with Sugizo anyway?”

“Why do you ask?” J shot back warily.

“Well,” Franz replied as he stood.  “I thought we went out again yesterday for the nth time to console you over Inoran’s departure and for your losing him – not that you ever had him,” he added pointedly, “but these few days, after you get stark raving dunk, guess whose name keeps popping up?”

J suddenly had a weird, sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach.

“…Sugizo?”  It was barely a whisper.

“You’re damn right!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supposed to be a game.

J lay back on the bed, desultorily watching the cigarette smoke stream out of his mouth and rise, curling, in the still air.  For once, his mind was considerably clear, his thoughts organised instead of being in a constant jumble.  It was almost as if all the beer he’d imbibed last night had purged him of all his confusion, leaving him with certain home truths.

_It was supposed to be a game._   He inhaled deeply, and the fumes slid down to his lungs, draining more tension out of him.  _And it all started while we were drinking, as usual.  Alcohol – the bane of my life…_

***

“Gimme that…”  A slightly trembling hand wavered in the general vicinity of the beer bottle, before slumping onto he table with a thud, still reaching for the drink.

Slim fingers curled around the neck of the bottle, lifting it away before J could get a hold of it.  “Man, you’re already doo trunk…”  A puzzled expression crossed Sugi’s features.  “Uh… I mean, too drunk.”

“Who’re you to say anything?” J smirked, making another half-hearted grab for the alcohol.  “At least _I_ can still speak properly…”

Sugi didn’t deign to reply, instead he drained the bottle down to the last drop before tossing it at J.  “You can have it now,” he drawled slyly, then laughing out loud when J tried to drink and found nothing.

“Fuck you, Sugi!”  J gave him the finger as he crashed back into the couch.

“Nah, you’d much rather fuck someone else.”

J didn’t say anything, and Sugi carried on, emboldened by too much beer.  “Ne, don’t you think it’s about time you got over him already?  He’s been going out with her since…”  Sugi frowned, trying to recall a time when Ino’s girlfriend wasn’t with him, then shrugged, defeated.  “Well… since forever, I guess.”

There was a long moment of silence, and Sugi thought for a while that J was mad.  “Well, how the hell am I supposed to so that?!”

The explosion caught Sugi by surprise and he slid off the couch, startled.  The drunken haze descended again, blurring the previous moment of clarity and good sense.  Shaking his head to try and clear the dizziness, he staggered to his feet and sat down heavily beside J.

“Well, the most commonly used method would be to…” he turned and leaned in closer towards his other band member, “find someone else.  Preferably someone different…”  His warm breath tickled J’s ear, causing him to squirm away a little.  “Someone more willing… and it wouldn’t hurt if he was better-looking,” Sugi added as an afterthought.

“Yeah, like who?”  J pushed irritably at Sugi’s chest.

“What’s wrong with yours truly?”  Sugi sank back against the seat with an offended pout.

“…”

“Well?”

“Well, for one thing, you’re married!  And you have a kid!”  J was actually rather proud of the fact that he wasn’t too drunk to remember it.

“Oh good,” Sugi surged up again, this time straddling J’s lap, his arms going around the other man’s neck, “so you don’t _really_ have a problem with _me_.”  He smiled, predatory.  “Are there any other objections?”

J stared back dumbly, drawn in by the hypnotic gaze.  The dim lighting, combined with the numerous bottles of beer, served to make Sugi rather attractive.  Maybe it wasn’t such a bad notion.

He just sat there passively at first when Sugi’s lips descended upon his, a detached part of his mind marvelling that they were so soft.  Then the flickers of fire began travelling through his veins and he reached up, cupping Sugi’s face, deepening the kiss as it seemed that Sugi was ready to pull away…

***

The cigarette had burned out as he lay there.  If he closed his eyes, the images would just leap up, and things that he thought he had forgotten would come back to mind.

 He lit another joint, taking a drag before he sank into his thoughts again, leaving the cigarette to burn out to a glowing stub as well.

***

Their panting breaths were the only thing that punctuated the languid quiet that enfolded them.  J kept one arm thrown across Sugi’s torso, his fingers gently stroking the smooth skin of his arm, not really thinking about anything except how peaceful everything suddenly seemed.

The abrupt tension in Sugi’s muscles as the guitarist prepared to get up rudely broke him out of his musings.

He caught Sugi’s wrist before he could walk away from the bed.

“Why?”

“Why what?” Sugi asked in mild surprise as he sat back down on the covers.

“Why don’t you ever stay the night?”

There was a pause as Sugi – didn’t quite – stiffen.  Gently, he disengaged his wrist from J’s grasp, his brow furrowing in concentration, as if attempting to find all the correct words so that whatever he said would come out right the first time.

“J…”  Then he shook his head self-deprecatingly, and stood up, picking his clothes off the floor to put them on.

“What?!”  J surged off the bed in annoyance.  “Don’t dismiss me like that!”

“You do remember why we ‘started’, don’t you?” Sugi remarked as he buttoned his shirt.  “We were both drunk – you needed consolation, I wanted a little fun.  We were just playing a game.  It’s quite an achievement that we’ve managed to drag it out for so long.”  He bent down to grab his jacket, shaking it out before sliding his arms into the sleeves.  “And though it’s fun while it lasts, it goes against my principles to stay longer, thereby creating an illusion of something that isn’t actually there.”  He approached J again, bestowing a fleeting kiss upon his lips.  “Ja mata.”

“Wait!”  J seized him again before he could leave.

He gazed at the other man’s face, trying to guess what lay behind his closed expression.  At the same time, another part of his brain kept wondering when and how the hell Sugi had seemed to become more than a sex partner.  “What if… what if I want you to stay?”  He flushed, too embarrassed to look up, even when he heard Sugi’s indrawn breath.

“…Do you really?”

“I… I think so…  Shit, I don’t know!”  He raked one hand through his hair in frustration, his other hand still holding onto Sugi’s arm, as if afraid the other man would bolt if he let go.

Sugi watched him – the conflict was written clearly across his strained features.  _Do I dare?_ he wondered.  _He’s not even sure of himself.  And he sure as hell ain’t over Ino.  But still… I…_

“Fine, I’ll have you on a probation period.”  He smiled mischievously as his jacket hit the floor for the second time that night.  “Bear that in mind, J – I can still dump you if you’re not to my liking,” he continued as he slid under the covers again, settling his head on J’s shoulder.

Perhaps, if he could have seen the future, he wouldn’t have taken the plunge so easily, unaware that he would sink too deep ever to surface.

***

“Gomen nasai, Sugi…”  But the person to whom he whispered it was not there.

The other man had been playing by the rules of the game, but he had stubbornly, wilfully, chose to disregard them, and in so doing, caused the both of them to suffer.

_I was too confused…_

He remembered that jolt of astonishment when he first realised he was no longer appreciating his band mate’s androgynous beauty in purely the aesthetic sense.   How his laughter would cause a similar uplifting in his own spirits.  A grin lurked at the corners of his mouth as Sugi’s antics flooded his mind, and how his heart would skip a beat, making him slightly breathless when Sugi glanced at him seductively.

Yet, over it all, the spectre of Ino had lingered. 

_Maybe… if I had never met her… just maybe._   Ino’s words from days before struck him.

But he wasn’t Ino, and Sugi wasn’t him.

“Heh!”  J sat up and stretched, suddenly feeling much more energised.  He took one last puff on the cigarette before stubbing it out.  It wasn’t really that hard to come to a decision, once he penetrated the shadows, and came into the light.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just want to be with you.

“I’ll call before I come again next month.”  He paused at the doorway, turning back to her.

She nodded in assent and waited for him to leave.  “Ja, Sugi.”  The door closed before he had even stepped away.

His pride might have taken offence at being so summarily dismissed – if he had not been so drained.  Besides, he thought as he took the elevator down to the ground floor, this frosty, almost-civil contact was much better than the backbiting, insult-hurling hysteria that had characterised their relations the year before he left.  He sincerely prayed that their daughter would have absolutely no impression of that terrible time.

His weariness could not diminish the brilliance of his smile as he thought of Luna.  She’d only just begun to recognise him, something that brought him no end of joy, yet rankled all the same that it hadn’t taken place sooner.  _I wish I wasn’t away so often…_

It was such irony.  He had married because he was in love with love, but only knew what it truly was after Luna came along.  He suspected it had been the same with her.

Even then though, he had realised that his marriage was over.  Both of them were in love with the greatest creation of their lives, but not with one another – never one another.

His agent was waiting in the car as he came out of the lobby into the deep night.  Opening the door on the passenger side, he slid into the seat with a heavy sigh.

“Gomen ne, Sugizo-san, but you know you can’t miss the very first LS meeting about coming back together,” his agent said apologetically.

“No, Yahiko, I was the one who wanted to come here,” Sugi replied as he leaned back against the headrest, closing his eyes.

“Well, then, maybe you might as well get some sleep on the trip back.”  The drive would most likely take up the rest of the night.  
   
As the car pulled out of the driveway, Sugi glanced back at the tall building, the twinge he always felt when leaving twisting his heart a little.  If Luna could stay with him, this wouldn’t have to happen at all!  But even as the irrational thought crossed his mind, he knew it just wasn’t really feasible.  Even if she was still working, she could care for Luna better.  He quietly let out a breath.  Maybe… maybe one day, he could work up the courage to announce it, then at least there would be no need for this soul-draining secrecy…

A flash of gold caught his eye as he turned to dump his bag in the back seat.  Reaching out to grab the magazine, he made out the familiar features of a face he hadn’t seen for a long time – too long a time.

_God, not now…  I’m too tired to think about this…_

 “…is that okay, Sugi?”

 He looked up to see his agent shooting him an inquiring look. 

_Whatever…_   “Yeah, sure.”  He tossed the mag in the back again and settled further into the seat, folding his arms and leaning against the car window, letting the engine’s bass rhythm lull him to sleep.

***

He awoke to a hand gently shaking his shoulder.  “Sugizo-san, we’re almost there,” Yahiko’s subdued voice said.

He stretched, trying as best he could to remove the kinks from his muscles within the cramped confines of the car.  A quick look at his driver told him the poor guy was about to keel over himself.

“You better get home yourself,” he remarked as he groped behind for his bag.  “I can get myself to the meeting later, and it isn’t really one of your responsibilities anyway.”

Yahiko grunted in assent as the car came to a halt.  “Alright then, I’ll just come by tomorrow for your photo shoot,” he said as Sugi got out.  “And by the way, happy reunion.”  With that, he drove off, leaving Sugi to puzzle over his cryptic parting statement.

He turned to enter the building, and stopped short, staring at long, long legs encased in leather.  A strange feeling resembling an electric shock spread out from his heart towards his extremities, leaving him abnormally tense all of a sudden.  The owner of those legs was half-hidden by the shadows of the unlit lobby, but then they shifted from their crossed position, moving towards him.

_Wha…  How?  Why’s he here?_

Unconsciously he reached out as J came nearer, to touch a stubble-roughened cheek, feel the firm muscles, to caress the silky blond hair, assuring himself that this all too real.  But he snatched his hand back before they actually made contact, his fingers tingling with the imagined sensation nevertheless.

“The meeting’s not until later.”  Internally he winced at how cool and abrupt he sounded.  _Relax, Sugi.  Be nice…_

“I called your agent to ask if I could see you first and he told me you said fine.  Why, didn’t he mention it to you?”  J was surprisingly calm, not rising to the provocation.

“No, he didn’t-–”  The memory of Yahiko’s voice – _“is it okay?”_ – flashed, and his own vague answer to a query he hadn’t bothered to clarify.  “Never mind, let’s go up first.”  Brushing past J, he headed for the elevator.  
  
“When did you get an agent anyway?”  J’s voice broke the awkward silence occupying the space between them.  “Taking a leaf from Ryu’s book, are you?”  All he got in return was a withering glare.

Sugi unlocked the door of his apartment and stalked in, not bothering to see if J had entered.

 “Shouldn’t you offer your guest a drink?”

“Why don’t you just help yourself?” Sugi retorted a little acidly.  “You know the way around this place anyway.  It hasn’t changed at all since you were here last.”  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw, with perverse satisfaction, the other man flinch slightly at the barb.

“Sugi-–”

But he wasn’t finished yet.  J’s unexpected visit seemed to have unleashed the floodgates holding his roiling emotions back.  “Besides, you haven’t said why you’re here.  Are you sure you haven’t made a mistake?  Wouldn’t you rather be with someone else?”  He disappeared into his bedroom.

J leaned back against the door, running his hands through his hair in mild frustration.  “You aren’t making this easy…”

“Is there any reason why I should?” Sugi flung back as he reappeared, storming into the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge.  The repressed anger crashed over the precipice, roaring down like a waterfall to join the whirlpool of confusion below.  Dozens of caustic accusations and even more insults inundated his mind, threatening to fly out of him, but he forcibly held them back.

There was a silence as Sugi opened the can and gulped down its contents.

“…I’m sorry, Sugi.”

“Well, that’s new.”

“I…”

Sugi emerged from the kitchen, beer still in hand, to sink onto the living room couch.  Gazing at him, J just wanted to smooth that weary, bitter expression off his face.  He sat down on the low table facing Sugi, racking his brain for the words to articulate what he wanted to convey.  “Please…”

“Please what?!  J, lay off, okay?  I don’t know what happened with you and Ino in L.A. and I don’t want to know!”

“Nothing happened!  We just cleared up some… misunderstandings.”

Ino’s icy voice over the phone surfaced in Sugi’s recollection.  “Well, I’m glad you two know each other better now.  You don’t have to come here and gloat.  I wish the two of you all the best-–”

“Damnit, Sugi, will you just listen to me?!”  Finally losing his patience, J seized him by the shoulders, trying to shake some sense into his obstinate head.  “Ino got back with his girlfriend.”

Jerking away, Sugi’s eyes glared daggers at him.  “That’s even worse!  I’m not some fucking spare tyre you can use to console yourself.  Why don’t you just go to bloody h— Umph!”  J’s mouth came down hard on his, silencing him.

He struggled, trying to turn his head away, but strong hands had cupped his face, holding him still as J’s lips ravaged his own.  He pried ineffectively at J’s arms, to no avail.  The bassist’s grip was like steel, trapping him.

Then all of a sudden, the kiss gentled, taking Sugi’s breath away as J’s mouth nibbled his lower lip, his tongue teasing the closed line of his mouth.  Involuntarily, a sigh escaped, and J took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Sugi’s mouth, tasting the sweet recesses.

The invasion shocked him out of the haze of desire that had descended and he shoved violently at J’s chest, pulling back at the same time.  The swift action caught J off-guard, and he let Sugi go.

Before he could even touch him again, Sugi had escaped from the couch to lean against the French doors leading to the balcony.  “Could you please just say whatever you want and go?”  Sugi’s tone was light and careless, his posture indicating it was anything but.

“I… that is… I mean…”  J stammered, nervousness crashing over him like a tsunami, sweeping away most of what he had wanted to say and jumbling up the remnants.  He swallowed, drawing a deep breath.  “I… I’m here to say I’m sorry, Sugi…  I shouldn’t have hurt you like that – you didn’t do anything to deserve it.”  No movement registered at the corner of his eye and he forced himself to continue.

“After Ino left, I was thinking for a long time… and I… I realised things I didn’t really see before, but it was there all along—”  
   
“Are you telling me that you actually felt something for me, other than lust, but just didn’t want to admit it?” Sugi cut in cynically.  “Oh please, that’s just too cliched.”

_Goddamnit, I know I was a stubborn asshole – he doesn’t have to rub it in…_   He forced himself to keep cool, sensing Sugi was merely attempting to drive him away with his biting remarks.  “I… I was too fixated on something that wasn’t meant to be.  After he went to New York,  I kept telling myself that I had to move on, leave his shadow behind…”  He looked up to see Sugi gazing back at him, a strange gleam in his eyes that seemed to be warring between disbelief and hope.  “Then I realised that I’d already moved on, just that I didn’t know.”

He stood up, stepping closer to Sugi, then pausing, a space still between them.  “Please, Sugi.  I’m not asking for you to take me back and continue where we left off last.  I’m asking you for a chance… a chance that we start all over again.  Only this time it’s not because of sex or consolation, but because I… I just want to be with you.”  He fell quiet, staying where he was, waiting.  It was up to the other man now to cross the gulf that still yawned between them.

Sugi remained immobile by the balcony door, arms folded protectively in front of his chest, looking out into the distance.  To J, it seemed like he was so far away, distant, and the breeze playing with his hair would soon sweep into a gale and carry him away.

It might only have been minutes, or it could have been eternity, yet it made no difference as the silence stretched.  Finally, the tension was too much to bear and he directed his stare downwards, eyes boring holes into the carpet.

A hand gently rested on his shoulder and he jerked to his feet reflexively, unbalancing the two of them until Sugi grabbed the back of the couch to steady them.  The relief racing within made him heady as he wound his arms tight around his second-time lover.

Sugi hadn’t needed to speak a word.  His answer was already there – in the tiny laugh as they had stumbled, and the slow spread of a smile when he gazed back into J’s eyes.


	9. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much more...

The opening notes to “Pink Spider” drifted from the TV set to diffuse around the dressing room, soon followed by J’s hoarse shouting.

A solitary figure sat in front of the box, staring at the two brilliant individuals on the stage performing, playing, moving about with unfeigned excitement as the song ran its course.

As the song reached its end, sudden footsteps from outside interrupted his unwavering attention.  “Aw, I missed it!”  Shinya sank down on one of the foldable chairs, disappointed.

A faint smile crossed Ryu’s face as he observed Shinya’s despondent expression.  “It’s okay, you can watch it later,” he offered in consolation.  “I asked someone to tape it down.”

On the TV set, J and Sugi had disappeared backstage to the voices of thousands of screaming audience.  “They must have been planning it for some time, ne?” Shinya commented.

“It’s not surprising,” Ryu replied thoughtfully.  “They were closest to Hide and so most affected when he…”

“Yeah, I guess so.”  Shinya sighed, a little rush of melancholy coming over him.  But then, Hide’s smirking face surfaced, and he grinned.

“Hey, he would have been real glad, wouldn’t he?  If he knew…”  He glanced over at Ryu.  It was only after Hide’s death – or more like, it had been the final catalyst that had drawn the two of them to each other.

“Hmm?”

“That J and Sugi…”

“Yes, he definitely would have been.  He thought the two of them were idiots for skirting around each other for so long.”  Ryu’s tone seemed to be slightly wistful, but Shinya could have been wrong.

His curiosity having been aroused, Shinya decided to press further.  “Ryu, do you have a problem with the two of them being together?”

“Wha.. no, of course not!  What makes you think that?!” Ryu exclaimed in surprise.  “Of course I’m glad that J and… and Sugi are…”  The catch just before he voiced a name was unmistakable this time.  He turned away quickly.  “They’re so much more happy now…”

“Yes, they’re happy, ne?” Shinya echoed softly.  He got to his feet, patting Ryu’s shoulder in apology for probing where he shouldn’t have.

“Hey, you wanna go have supper?  My treat!” he asked brightly, dragging Ryu up by the arm.

“Why not?” Ryu murmured in reply.  Taking one last look at the television, he allowed himself to be pulled out of the room.


End file.
